The Darker Knight
by Cafe Hoax Zest
Summary: Batman and his cousin fight evil villians in Gotham
1. Chapter 1

The Darker Knight

Bruce Waine was sitting on computer reading repoort about many people being dead because of Batman when really because of Too-Face. Bruce Waine slam coffee mug on table and splash hit paper. Batman look at paper and see pichure of dead mom and dad. "i must not give up to stop this crime stopping." Bruce Waine said. Bruce Waine goes to his his AIM and look for name of someone to help. Only one mperson online.

"hello" Brucce Waine tiped.

"Yes." tiped the other person.

"I am being accused of mumur." Said Bruce Waine.

"well i can help u." tiped other person.

"Then we must team up." Bruce Waine

"Indeed." The person reply.

Soon Bruce Waine go to his cousin house to team up with Betty Waine. He pull into house with Batmobile and see cousin standing there. Betty Waine had blues eyes and brown hairs. she was tall and skinny and war makeup. she looked like Meghan Fox and had boobs the size of melons that had vitemin d milk.

"Cousin" Betty Waine said.

"Hello." Says Bruce Waine.

"Now we must stop crime."

Bruce Waine nodded and Betty Waine entered car. they drove back to gotham and went to back cave where Bruce Waine put on his batsuit and Betty Waine but on Bat Bikini.

Batman and Batcousin go to middle of Gothham and lok for crime. Soon Too-Face comes to center and looks at Batman.

"You are ded" say Batman.

"Only my one face is dead. I have two!" Too-Face yell at Batman.

"Well I kill other face and make you deadface!" Batman is saying.

Batman through Batarang and it hit Too-Face but it only destoryed nonvital organs like Intestanes and liver and bladder.

"That did not even hurt silly Bat." Too0Face laughed.

Too-face jhumped at Batman and and tackle him to ground. Batcousin grbbed a hammer and smash Too-Faces two faces.

"Your corpse has been grinded" Batcousin yelled as raise bloody hummer over head.

But Killer Croc jump out of Bush and Bush and grab Too-Face'ses body.

"Roar" Killer croc yelled and ran off. "We fix Too-Face and we kill you all." Then showed Batman that he capture Morgan Freeman.

"No! Morgan Freeman!" Batman yelled but was too late to be rescue him.

Morgan Freeman dropped geologist's hammer and Batman picked it up.

"I shall take this. And someday soon I will return it to you. Morgan Freeman."

Camera zoomed out of Batman and light faded.

TOBE Continyoued


	2. Chapter 2

Chatper 2

Comissioner Gordon's brother Comissioner John was sitting at cumputer shawping for money. Sudently he got email from Comissioner Gordon. "Brother our brother Morgan Freeman isinprizoned by the evil forces of villians! We need to help Batman shave him."

Comissioner John Freeman thn got in AMC Pacer and drove to Gotham to meet Comissioner Gordan Freeman. "I am here brother." Comissioner John Freeman said to Comissioner Gordon Freeman.

They meet Batman and Batcousin in center of ham. "We are gsdja here" said the Freemans. "Good" say Batman. "We must find bad guys now and rekill Too-Face again."

"I has idea wear are villians being at now" Said Batcousin as she began to sweat in tight bikini. "Let's go."

Batman, Batcousin, and the Freemans go to a bar called Teh Mad Hater's bar four evil people.

"You r right Batcuosin." Batman sex. "I see villiwans here. We must see if Killer Cork went in here."

Batman goes up to bartender. "Can you tell me if Killer Clock is here?" Batman ask him.

"No" bartender yell. "Because you are Batman and me am Mad Hater."

"Oh no!" Batman cry.

Bartender pulls out tommy gun and shoot Batman, but Batcousin jump in way and bullets stop because they don't want to hert her.

"Good thing bulltes nice or you wuld lose boobs." Said Batman.

Batcousin then take wepon and turn Mad Hater into pile of ash.

Everyone clap except Joker who stab Batman with fork in soldur.

"I has dying Batcousin!" Batman say to Batcousin.

"I can heal you Batman." Say Batcousin woh heals Batman.

"I feel even better than has ever." Batman say and punch Joker.

"Ow!" Joker says. "Why so Serious?"

Batcousin kick joker and he catch and fire and die.

Now Batman break down door and see Riddler and his cousin Riddlercousin.

"One of us always lies" Riddler say.

"And one of us tell truth." Riddlercousin say.

"You're both lying and you should feel very bad four lying." Said Batcousin.

"Wow I no didn't even think no that yes." That say Batman.

"We is sorry." Riddler and Riddlercousin say and die.

Killer Croc enters rom.

"I still has Morgan Freeman and I won't let him go." He crack L.

"Let him go!" Freemans say.

"No I will not let him go." Croc say.

"Let him go!" Freemans say.

"No I will not let him go." Croc say.

"Let him go!" Freemans say.

"No I will not let him go." Croc say.

"Let him go!" Freemans say.

"No I will not let him go." Croc say.

"Let me go." Morgan Freeman shout but Croc run away with him.

Batcosuin fire wepon at Croc but he is too strong.

As Croc run away he says "And I steel Jonas Brothers too! Now Girls will cry and recession will become depression!"

TOBE CONTINYOUED


	3. Chapter 3

Batman has sad. Economy was depressed and nooone could fix it because economy need bands like Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber and Cannibal Corpse too fix it from being broken which it was because of Killer Croc breaking it.

"We must leave bar and find Morgan Freeman" said Batcousin.

And then they exit door and bar explodes because everyone in it was dead and gravity.

But Joker crawl out of rubble.

"I help you Batman because your Batcousin is nice." The Joker said. "I has good guy this time." The Poker said.

but then police come and shoot Joker because he crime make.

"Batman I ma dying." Joker said and die.

Batcousin then and cries because clowns can only die twice.  
Then they leave bar that wasn't bar because it was flaming bircks but also wasn't and go to Wall Street because they here Too-Face lives there because that's where lawyers go.

Batcousin drives them to Wall Street in AMC Pacer.

"It is time to kill Too-Face and let happenus come." Batman reply.

They break into NAZDACK HQ and find Catwimman with gun pointed at them. Batcousin kisses Catwimman and she put down gun and cry fall.

"I didn't no." Catwimman says and run away and die.

Then Killer Croc cone and say "I also kidnap Tom from Myspace and now have him hostage with other now with Too-Face." And he run up stars and drop bomb in front of Batman.

TOBE CONTINTUED 


	4. Chapter 4

Batman and Batcousin and Commisoner Gordan Freeman and Commisoner John Freeman Ran up stars and chase Killer Croc.

They run up and see Liam Neeson. "Batman I am here to help you because I am not evil." Liam Neeson said. Batman find robot suit and put it on. "I am just like Guy Fawkes's friend Ned Ludd." Say Batman.

Killer Croc jumps out of closet and tackles Robatman. Bat cousin grabe Killer Croc and punch him and had ans it explod. "3" says Liam Neeson.

Killer Croc say "I am not dead yet." and Punch Robatman agaIN. ROBAtman cries but Batcousin shove Croc in blender and turn him to ice cream.

"This is door to Bad guys an evil" Say Liam Neeson. "We must go in."

"I'll open up" Say Batcousin.

They weight wand weight aand weight.

"let's do it" Robatman say covered in sweat,

They braek bown dhore two Too-Face. "I am hear." Said Too-Face "and now I have For Face." For-Face sayed.

BUM BUM BUM

Batman cries and fall to ground.

"Oh noooooooo." He yell. "He will kill use."

For-Face stand up with four faces and tommy gun and AK-47.

"Now you die Batpeople and other people. Forever." For-Face said.

TO BE CONTINHUED


	5. Chapter 5

For-Face fire both guns and throw grenad, but Batcousin stop them and kick grenad out widnow.

"My four faces want reavange! Say For-Face.

Liam Neeson picks upbrick and hits For-Face in face number 1.

"Ow.!" sayed For-Fayce. "My face number 1!"

For-Face grabe Chahtana and whip.

"Good Night, Knight." For-Face say and jhump toward Batman.

But Comissioner John Freeman and Comissioner Gordon Freeman pul out Crossbows and shout wepons out of hands of For-Face.

Batcousin Roundhouse kick For-Face and he slam face number two on desk. "Pain." He shout, but then he laugh.

For-Face grow four robot tentecalls. "These are frome my faces." He laugh out.

He takes Batman and Batcousin and the Freemans and whrap themup in slymey tentecalls.

Liam Neeson grab lightshaber and cut all tentecalls, then stabe For-Face in face number 3.

Then Batman run and punch For Face in face number 4.

"I has have life defeated." For-Face yell. "But u stile hak to reescue Morgan Freeman!" For-Facr say. Then he explod in to fire bowl and thurn two smoke.

"Now we must go and free Morgan Freeman." Batman say and they run down stars.

TOBE COBTINRUED


	6. Chapter 6

Batman and Batcousin and Comissioner Gordon Freeman and Comissioner John Freeman and Liam Neeson get to bassmint amd find Morgan Freeman.

"You has saved me!" Morgan Freeman yell, but Bane come and attack and slam Batcousin against ground.

"I has got this!" Batman yell and pull out pistol and exploreded Bane head.

"I be not hurt been." Batcousin say.

They unite Morgan Freemans dopes and take him offchair.

"I free." Morgan Freeman say.

Then they free bands and Tom and other people and the bassmint.

Everyone cheer accept Batcousin.

"Whayt is matter?" Batman ask Batcousin.

"All these problems were because men and guns exist and earth have them." Batcousin say. "Men and guns can nothing good do."

"What you say?" Liam Neeson supriseafully reshout.

"I am sorry men but I am going to have to kill you and kill guns and then earth be perfect and happy because women cannot kill people and be evil and guns only kill good people." Batcousin apolologize.

Then sudantly Hanna Montana say "I am now Batcyrus and I will kill evil men for being eivl."

"And I will help!" Jusitn Beebeer yell and they all grabe guns and fyr at Batman.

Batman and The Freemans and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse dodge but Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber die and Tom gets injured and goes ow.

"I will go to the hospital." Tom say while crawl aawat.

Batcousin and Batcyrus take Justin Bieber body ans drag it away and they run toward Girlmobile. "We will still kill all you men and guns." Batcsouin shout.

Batcousin and Batcryus get into Girl mobile but drop Jutin Bieber body on sydewalk. Catwimman and Poison IV and Harley Quinn and Riddlercousin hop in there car two.

Man on TV say "Batman, World is undering attack by evil forces of Batcousin. Go to fight them to aids us." and Batman knew that now was his time to help because television never lies.

Alfred came. He say "I am going to hlep and I came."

Soon Bane get up and say " I shall help men because I am man and I help you."

Then Batman and Comissioner Gordon Freeman and Comissioner John Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Alfred and Bane and the TV go and get ready for big war between gender.

TOBE CANTINFUED


	7. Chapter 7

In 2010, war was beggining.

Batman and Commissioner Gordon Freeman and Commissioner John Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson and Alfred and Bane and the TV went to the Batcave and got suited up four war. Batman puts on a suit over his suit so his suit had more powers. Gordon and John Freeman got crowbars and batman suits that weren't Batman suits but we're suit like Batman but Freeman. Morgan Freeman got geologist hammer from Batman and pick up AK-47. Liam Neeson get better lightsaybar and glok. Alfred grabb spike cane and put banana on head. Bane grow new head ans gets brass nuccalls. TV turn on Rambo and Die Hard at same time and get Oozi.

They made a team. They we're Darker Knights than normal. They we're The Marvelous Revengers.

They all get in Blatmobile and see Girlyhelicopter.

"Helicopter go away and leave!" Batman yell at Coptur.

"No I will not." They helicopter say back loud.

So Batman get his rocket luncher and fire missile and it hit girly copter and it hit and almost hit orphanage.

Evil girls come and shout guns at them but Batmoble deflect bukkets and kill themb ack.

Batmana drive Batmobile throu wall and bricks explode and One hit and kill Joker.

Batman goes to mall because all girls go to mall and goes to look for Batcousin and everyone helping Batcousin because they help evil Batcousin who is evil.

They try to park but no spaces so Liam Neeson parks car on top of car and everything is okay.

Batman look at mall and say "I am coming Cousin and nowe I shall win because good wins because evill isn't good and you are evil right now being. Prepair to fail."


	8. Chapter 8

Batman break down automatic door to mall. He lok four Batcousin around but don't see her immediatlie. Batman look in may cup isle and and see Harley Quinn and she get gun and shoot at him. Batman dodge bullets really quick andb then see someon else shoet Harley Quinn.

He saw other man in Batsuit. Batman say "Hello!". The other Batsuit Man look back at him and say " I am Batsby. I am here to help you defeat womon. "Ojkay" Batman say and they team up.

Meanhwile Batman and Batsby Look for womans and find Catwimman in pet isle. Batman stabe her and she dide. Posion IV come out with enoby blade and try to slash Batman but Corpsegrinder come and explode her head with shovel.

Then Batman and Batsby and Commissioner Gordon Freeman and Commissioner John Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson and Bane and Tom and the TV and and Cannibal Corpse all join to get her to get Batcousin and Batcyrus. Joker come to help but he get run over and killed by evil girl in a car but Vatman throw grenads into tale pipe and car rexplode. Hatman then laugh and say "Girls canot win because we arwe winning."

They break down dor to staph room but noone thar. They they run to NAZDACK HQ to beat evil girls.

They drive thru door amd see Batcyrus their. "I will kill you men!" She say very loudly. Liam Neeson pull out gun and shoot her in belly and she cough up blood. Then Bane shock Batcyrus with his electricity and she fall ong round TV shoot nail in her neck and she fall down. Batman dirve Batmobile tire over her head and it explod. Blood and brains get into Morgan Freeman's sandwatch but he eat it anyway.

Then they see Batcousin standing on stars, Laugh at them. "You may have won, but you alos loose." She say and pull out RPG. "nhow You dye!" Batcousin yell and fight beggin.

TOBE CONTIBLUED


	9. Chapter 9

Batmanan grabe nun-chunks aqD deflact RPGback at Batcousin face be she blonk and is okay.

Alfred shoot thumb tack at her but she miss.

'You can hot hit me!" Batcousim shay. Then Batman fire gun and her and Morgan Freeman fir gun at her and Commissoner Gordon Freeman fire gun at her and Commissoner John Freeman gun at her so and Alfred and Bane and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Tom and TV and Batsby get guns and fire at her.

"Ouch!" Batcousin yell. As bullets bounce off boobs and cry becausger they hurt she puch everyine and they fall down.

"Now you all die men and guns fore being eval." say as she bring in man with gun to kill them.

Riddlercousin run in a say " Mrs. Batcousin I" but then she trip on bomb from Chapter 3 and the entire building explode and brickeses fall on everyone. The man with gun and Riddlercousin and Joker die. Everyone else climb out. Brick hit Batcousin head..

"I was hurt bye brick and now I see wrong about men and guns and men with guns and men." Batcousin say.

"We are great time and I am Great Batsby" Batsby yell.

Batsby drime thim home to batcave but somon in iddle of roadBatsby hit brake and close eyes.

TOBE CARNTINUED


	10. Chapter 10

Batsby hit Riddlercousin and she explode all over batmobile and road and side walk and streetlights and people up and down the bolivard.

"OH NO I KILL HER!" Batsy yell but then notice she was evil and not care. But Riddler come and shut at Batmobile bet bullets bounce back into him and he die. Batcousin then grabe gun and enoby blade ans say "Riddler means there has zombies coming and now we must go find them because zombies are bad."

Batman and Batcousin and Communist John Freeman and Communist Gordon Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Alfred and Batsby and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Bane and Tom and TV and Tyler Durden and Andy Dufraine and Kaiser Soze and Charles Foster Kane and Darth Vader frive in Fatmobile to find where zombies was being at being because they where being there at the place they were finding the place of where they are.

They all drive to gravyyard and see zombie Joker and evil zombie army. "We are here to kill you Batman because zombies don't like not zombies and you are here." Joker say. Sudantly Joecar grow two moar arms and look at Batman and Batcousin and everyone and say. "I am so serious."

TOBE CONFLINTUED


	11. Chapter 11

Zombi Joker lead zommbie at-tack on Batman theam. Bratman throw bat granad and Batcousin slash enoby blade and soewm zombis dire but some zombis don't. Everyone runt away because toot many zombis. Batman and Batcousin and Communist John Freeman and Communist Gordon Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Alfred and Batsby and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Bane and Tom and TV and Tyler Durden and Andy Dufraine and Kaiser Soze and Charles Foster Kane and Darth Vader and Barack Obama and Zoidberg all run from zombies and zombis and Zombi Joker. Then theey hide becas zombis aer bad at hydan goseek.

Jokore see gravs of Bob Waine and Brittany Waine, Batman's parents. "We can't stop here." Jokore say. "This is Batman country". zombis shuck blood from pants to keep allive. Batman and Batcousin and Communist John Freeman and Communist Gordon Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Alfred and Batsby and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Bane and Tom and TV and Tyler Durden and Andy Dufraine and Kaiser Soze and Charles Foster Kane and Darth Vader and Barack Obama and Will Smith and Zoidberg all jhump out ans beat zombis with boobleheads of Joker, and most zombis die except four few. Zombie Joker azorb all remining zombis and become a darker knight tjan Batman. He has dark eval heavy armoar and a sword of one thousand tooths. "Now Batamman I will kil you and Batcousin and Communist John Freeman and Communist Gordon Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Alfred and Batsby and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Bane and Tom and TV and Tyler Durden and Andy Dufraine and Kaiser Soze and Charles Foster Kane and Darth Vader and Barack Obama and Will Smith and The Punisher and The Question and Rorschach and Zoidberg and the world. Anm thin I'll turnyou all into zombis. suddantly dark magic. dark magic resuneight frome Joker. "I am now have become Death Joke. You wilt all dye.

TOBE CONNOCTILLED


	12. Chapter 12

Averyone attack Death Joke but he has extra arms and knock back them. Suddenlay Commisoner Gordon comes and shoots Death Joke but he is oaky. Batcousin and Communist John Freeman and Communist Gordon Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Alfred and Batsby and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Bane and Tom and TV and Tyler Durden and Andy Dufraine and Kaiser Soze and Charles Foster Kane and Darth Vader and Barack Obama and Will Smith And Commisoner Gordon and Zoidberg All are nocked back by evil circel of satin. "I must fight Batman one on one" Say Death Joke. Zombisexual Joker who was now Death Joke who was ow fighting Batamman was is winning. He slash teh sword and hurt Batman. Batman grabe enoby blade and fight back. The sowords hit eachother and sparks go. War death happen battle circle Batman was in.

"I has unkillableness now Batman" Death Joke say.

"But nott." Batman yell.

"Instoppable is I being now!" Death Joke say loudly.

Death Joke slash both Batmans arms and and then stabe him in lower cheest.

"Ow." Batman says and fllas to the ground.

"Now I kill you Batman and Bat fifirends. Forever." Death Joke say with evil simile.

Suddnetly Dave Mustaine falls from sky with guitar and slams onto ground outside of circle. He plays epic solo for 2 minutes and it's shreading is awesome. The evil cirel of satin exploreds and Liam Neeson grabs his gun and kills the Penguin and then shoots Death Joke in booth sholdur twyce.

"Now Cusion!" says Batcousin ands cries fall down her eyes.

Batman take sword and run over to Death Joke now on ground. He attach rock hammer to sword because then it makes it able to dekillitated evil joker zombi. He take sword and Slash and slash Death Joke head off of him. Blood waters plants and sun comes back out and Zombisexuals are defeated and Gotham is safe and Too-Face and For-Face are dead and Morgan Freeman is free and men and guns are not evil. "Well I'm sorry Joker but it looks like" Batman puts on his sunglasses. "I'm The Darker Knight. "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH." goes Batcousin as Batman and Batcousin and Communist John Freeman and Communist Gordon Freeman and Morgan Freeman and Alfred and Batsby and Liam Neeson and Cannibal Corpse and Bane and Tom and TV and Tyler Durden and Andy Dufraine and Kaiser Soze and Charles Foster Kane and Darth Vader and Barack Obama and Will Smith And Commisoner Gordon and Dave Mustaine and Zoidberg all walk away to Batcave to be happy because day is saved.

THE END?

Official Song of The Darker Knight:

Batman, Bruce Waine, Betty Waine, Batcousin

Too-Face, Morgan Freeman, Killer Croc

Gordon Freeman, John Freeman, Batmobile, Gotham

Pub Brawls, Broken Walls, Riddlercousin

Dying villians, Mary Sue, Killer Clock, Ressurect

Jonas Brothers, Make Girls Cry, Bohemian Rhapsody

Broken Money, Pop Stars, Economy is depressed

Gravity, Cannibal Corpse, dead clowns, Joker goodbye

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Living Joker, Poolice, Poker Death, AMC Pacer

Wall Street, NAZDACK HQ, Catwimman Kiss

Tom, Bomb, Myspace, Up Stars, Liam Neeson

Ned Ludd and Guy Fawkes, Robatman

For-Face, BUM BUM BUM, One Liner

AK47, Tommy Gun, Batpeople, Battle

Face One, Face Two, Face Three, Face Four

Crossbows, Tenticles, Fire Bowl

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Down Stars, Bassmint, Pistol, Bane

Rescue, Shawshank Redemption, Gun Control, Feminism

Justin Bieber, Pop Stars Die, Batcyrus

Injuries, Hospital, Good Girls Turning Evil

Alfred, Harley Quinn, Poison IV

Girl Mobile, Sidewalk, Television Never Lies

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy

Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Wartime, 2010, Marvelous Revengers

Rambo, Die Hard, Fremmans, Crowbars

Girl's Mall, Batsby, Joker Death, Staph Room,

Sandwatch, Coughing Blood, RPG

Nunchunks, Thumb tack, Bulletproof breasts

That old bomb, blown away, what else do I have to say

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Great Batsby, Car Crash Death, The Joker is back again

Four arms, Darth Vader, Plot Twists, Enoby Blade

Zombies, Zombis, Obama, and Zoidberg

Will Smith, Rorschach, Dark Magic, Death Joke

Sword of one thousand Tooths, Blood and Pain

rock hammer, Dave Mustaine, Bisexuals

Batman's never looked finer, David Caruso one liner

I run out of things to say, I'll keep singing anyways

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning since the world's been turning.

We didn't start the fire

But when we are gone

It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No, we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire...

(Thank you for supporting my first trollfic. More will come, I promise. The Darker Knight was written completely by Zachary Parker, aka Zacoftheaxes, aka, Cafe Hoax Zest. Because Anagrams are awesome.)


End file.
